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Emily Clark

Peer rejections and play: Listening to What children say they need

"Free play is a distinctive form of child-centred activity, in which children’s motivation to play reflects both their needs to develop a mastery of play and to belong in the community of play. This implies social complex situations where the children have to solve contextual and relational problems and yet they may not have the skills and knowledge to do this without the help of adults (Wood, 2014). "

(Nergaard, K. 2022)

preschooler crosses arms and looks sad

The Real Research

This study out of Norway investigated the impact of peer rejections on children's well-being and social development in early childhood education and care (ECEC) settings. It focused on the role of empathy in helping children cope with rejection during free play situations. The research, based on dialogical interviews with children aged three and a half to six, revealed that children primarily seek empathy to foster a sense of belonging and enhance their play experience. The findings also emphasize the vital role of ECEC practitioners in providing emotional and social support, facilitating participation, encouraging empathy, and promoting inclusion during play negotiations.


What To Do With It

This play research asked children what they need from others after being rejected from play and the children's responses overlapped into four clear themes:


  • Children need to be invited to play.

  • Children need friendship experiences with humor and fun.

  • Children need physical affirmation and connection.

  • Children need fully involved and engaged educators.

Peer rejection is such a tricky thing- finding the balance between supporting children's compassion and empathy and allowing for children's sense of autonomy and control over their social interactions can be a very fine line. A key takeaway for me here is that the children overwhelmingly wanted to be asked to play by peers. This makes perfect sense- who would want to take a chance on asking someone else to play when you've just experienced a rejection? I think this is a great area to focus on: encouraging young children to notice when some one is alone or upset and develop skills around inviting others in to play experiences.


That sense of longing needs to be transformed into belonging for all children to feel safe and secure in our settings. How do you handle play rejection?


Citation and Access

This article is currently available open access (aka FREE!) and you can download the full PDF or EPUB here.


References:

Kari Nergaard (2022) ‘I want to join the play’. Young children’s wants and needs of empathy when experiencing peer rejections in ECEC, Early Years, 42:4-5, 406-419, DOI: 10.1080/09575146.2020.1744531


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